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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
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Boat troubles
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Category: Food Jokes Reader Rating: Contributor: lyn Views: 3468 Help keep us free..click a sponsor

Keep us free....Share this with a friend. #1296 : Food quotes and quips Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . . "Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ,food, out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson "This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen "I,ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I,ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck "I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz "Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin "Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso "Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben Share Rate It 5 4 3 2 1 Share It...

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