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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Category: Quotes Reader Rating: Contributor: lyn Views: 3506 Help keep us free..click a sponsor

Keep us free....Share this with a friend. #755 : Robert Schmidt 13 My uncle`s an airline pilot ... kinda makes it difficult to hold the bottle though... When my Dad came home last night, my mom fainted. Don`t tell anyone I said, but we`re live on national TV. I broke a leg one time ... spilt coffee all over. I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won`t run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me. Those were the days. That`s a good thing to say to the police the next time they stop you. "License and registration, please." "Hermits have no peer pressure." "License and registration, please." "Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories." "License and registration, please." "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. Wouldn't you" say, Officer?" "License and registration, please." "What`s another word for Thesaurus?" See the cop have a nervous breakdown. "I was just trying to give him a ticket." I can't wait to be arrested and go all the way to the witness stand. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, God?" "Yes, you`re ugly. See that women in the jury? I`d really like to sleep with her. Should I keep going or are you going to ask me questions?" In the Roadrunner cartoon, the coyote has been chasing him for 25 years. I`d like to see him finally get right up to him and go "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Driving hasn't been the same since I installed the funhouse rearview mirrors. "What is that?" Driving down the street at 150 miles per hour with a friend of mine on cruise control. Both of us in the back seat. The police pulled us over. They don't know who to arrest, nobody`s driving. So, they arrested us both. I`m on the witness stand. You know the rest. Share Rate It 5 4 3 2 1 Share It...

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