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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


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Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
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Boat troubles
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Category: Quotes Reader Rating: Contributor: lyn Views: 3363 Help keep us free..click a sponsor

Keep us free....Share this with a friend. #710 : Steven Wright 13 When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... Eventually. When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse. When I was eight, I played Little League. I was on first; I stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a direct line. I took advantage of that knowledge. I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn`t find tractors small enough to fit it. My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn`t get his birthmark until he was eight years old. My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I`m not naked, I`m in the band." When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I`d tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn`t obey. Babies don`t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... It gets me mad! I,ll go over to a little baby and say, "What are you doing here? You haven`t worked a day in your life!" My friend has a baby. I`m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. Share Rate It 5 4 3 2 1 Share It...

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