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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Category: Quotes
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Contributor: lyn
Views: 3348
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#700 : Steven Wright 04

It`s a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

When I die, I`m leaving my body to science fiction.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I`m going to buy some sugar."

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings . . . Boy With Pail . . . Kitten On Fire.

One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.

Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was that the concession stand prices are outrageous. Besides, I haven`t had a Bar-B-Que in a long time.

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab. The movie cost me $95.



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