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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Category: Quotes
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Contributor: lyn
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#699 : Steven Wright 03

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I`m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn`t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".

It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to have to paint it.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

You can`t have everything. Where would you put it?

I have the world`s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world . . . Perhaps you`ve seen it.



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