 | #2910 Worries while flying
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don,t worry, there are three left.
However... |
| #2908 N equals N plus one
Theorem: n=n+1
Proof:
(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1
Bring 2n+1 to the left:
(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2
Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have:
(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 - n(2n+1)... |
| #1978 The fate of marriages
It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes that average marriages have a 50% chance of ending by divorce. While I was a graduate student, among my ... |
| #1977 Reducing travel risk
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow down again once he,d got over it. One day, h... |
| #1976 Misunderstood people
1. They speak only the Greek language.
2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe. Where are the statisticians with names such as... |
| #1975 The math one-liners
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!
Maths Teacher: Now su... |
| #1974 Debate about the box
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square f... |
| #1973 Refrigerate elephants
Analysis:
1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.
2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant).
3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem.
Number... |
| #1972 Crocodile is longer
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let,s look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on ... |
| #1971 Proof E equal to one
Theorem: e=1
Proof:
2*e = f
2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)
e^(2*pi*i) = 1
Therefore:
2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)
2=f
Thus:
e=1
... |
| #1970 One is negative one
Theorem: 1 = -1
Proof:
1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1
Also one can disprove the axiom that things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.
1 = sqrt(1)
-1 ... |
| #1969 Purchasing the shoes
A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No problem," says the mathematician, "there is a simple equation for that," and he shows him the Gaussia... |
| #1968 Statistical one-liners
A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.
According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.
... |
| #1967 Risk of plane bombs
A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic.
"Hey, don,t worry, it,s just every 10000th flight that cras... |
| #1966 The results of statistics
1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
2. All polar bears are left-handed
3. If your car is stolen, there,s a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear
1. 39 percent of unemployed... |
