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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

English

#2815 A lecture about English A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a... #2814 Amazing Anagrams Amazing Anagrams Dormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ,em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Al... #2779 Quips & quotes Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet? A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home. Q: What do you call Santa`s Helpers? A: Subordinate clauses! Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax ... #1692 Tips to improve your writing 1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (howev... #1691 Europe English The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her ... #1690 Poem of English Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow diz... #1689 Creative wording BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let,s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged ... #1688 Stop redundancy The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. ... #1687 Canada America An American will say, "Hot day!" A Canadian will say, "Hot day, eh?" meaning "It,s a hot day, isn,t it?" This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-as... #1686 Canada language How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers) How do you tell a Canadian from an American? It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When... #1685 Alphabet letters How many letters are there in the alphabet? Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say... E.T. went home. Get rid of X. There,s too many unknowns in the world already! (Only one vowel l... #1684 Spelling checker Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight f... #1683 English language The English Language Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let,s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the ha...