 | #2778 A mental hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer`s file and called him i... |
| #2777 Better relationship
A man walked into a therapist`s office looking very depressed. "Doc, you`ve got to help me. I can`t go on like this."
"What`s the problem?" the docotor inquired.
"Well, I`m 35 years old and I st... |
| #1682 Interviewing crazy
A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.
The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable cauti... |
| #1681 Too much analysis
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."
... |
| #1680 Passing an exam
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the ins... |
| #1679 You are a chicken
A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you,ve got to help me. My wife thinks she,s a chicken!"
The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then wh... |
| #1678 Fixing an ailment
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it,s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky pa... |
| #1677 Upset is unhealthy
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked... |
| #1675 What is the time?
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient si... |
| #1674 Psychiatrist phone
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalitie... |
| #1673 Feel better now
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.
She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody ... |
| #1672 Finish the start
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
... |
| #1671 Letter to a shrink
Dear Shrink,
It haunted me for days, weeks, months, years. I couldn?t sleep at night. The sleep I got was full of nightmares and visions.
I fought bout after bout, fight after fight, with plagu... |
| #1670 Solving a problem
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I,m a teepee; then I,m a wigwam; then I,m a teepee; then I,m a wigwam. It,s driving me crazy. What,s wrong w... |
| #1669 Crazy people talk
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient,s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was han... |
