 | #4725 A prayer for the stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept and wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.... |
| #3113 Ponderings collection 44
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you`ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience... |
| #3112 Ponderings collection 42
If cats and dogs didn`t have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes th... |
| #3111 Ponderings collection 41
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do ... |
| #3110 Ponderings collection 40
Why is it that when you`re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
... |
| #3109 Ponderings collection 39
It`s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call ... |
| #3108 Ponderings collection 38
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out a... |
| #3107 Ponderings collection 37
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you`re ahead?"
What hair color do they put on th... |
| #3106 Ponderings collection 36
It`s a dog eat dog world out there. And they`re short on napkins.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Never trust a stockbroker who`s married to a travel agent.
Those who live ... |
| #3105 Ponderings collection 35
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when loo... |
| #3104 Ponderings collection 34
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviate... |
| #3103 Ponderings collection 33
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
So what`s the speed of dark?
Why don`t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?... |
| #3102 Ponderings collection 32
I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn`t it follow that electri... |
| #3101 Ponderings collection 31
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all... |
| #3100 Ponderings collection 30
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn`t the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car acci... |
