 | #5033 Microsoft technicians
How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two holding the ladder and one to screw the light bulb into a faucet.
... |
| #3144 Legal quotes & quips
When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty;
When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;
When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.?
-- Lin Yutang
... |
| #3143 Offer legal advice
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant.
The judge ordered Taylor, "You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and gi... |
| #3142 Give him an orange
One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here,s an orange."
... |
| #3141 Short legal laughs
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?
1. How much money do you have?
2. Where can you get more?
3. Do you have anything you can sell? Q: How many lawyer jokes are there... |
| #3140 Newest horror movie
Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear?"
It,s about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer.
The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you roo... |
| #3139 Steal from lawyers
Jack and Mugs, two second-story men from Flatbush, were comparing notes on recent burglaries.
"Didja get anything on that last heist?" Jack asked.
"Nuttin, at all," Mugs admitted. "Toins out tha... |
| #3138 Seashore with family
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family.
Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted.
"Darling, it was just a shark," assured his wife when he came to.
"Y... |
| #3137 Get away with murder
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I,m here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and g... |
| #3136 Tell the whole truth
You seem to be in some distress,, said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?,
`Well, your Honour,, said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but ... |
| #3135 Who handles cases?
Nugent needed legal advice, so he walked into the office of Gregory, Ellis and Gregory. Nugent sat down at the desk of the senior member of the firm.
"If you,re not really in bad trouble, I,ll take... |
| #3134 What should they get?
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:
"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to hi... |
| #3133 Arguing effectively
How to Argue Effectively
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a... |
| #3132 Q and A lawyer jokes 07
Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: Ha... |
| #3131 Q and A lawyer jokes 06
Q: What,s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Q: What,s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terror... |
