 | #853 Finding a house
Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. ... |
| #852 Do you know me?
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "W... |
| #851 What was its name?
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught... |
| #850 Will you marry me?
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, he couldn,t remember wha... |
| #849 Horse or chicken?
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To th... |
| #848 How old are you?
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn,t help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What,s your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three... |
| #845 Wedding Anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he,s getting sentimental because they,re celebrating 50 wonderful ... |
| #844 Eating some peanuts
There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate.
Of course the old man rejected the idea, b... |
| #842 Short Age Humor
I,ve sure gotten old. I,ve had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I,m half blind, can,t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 diffe... |
| #841 Problems driving
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on thro... |
| #832 How you earned it
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last n... |
| #831 Grandma changed
In the dim and distant past
When life,s tempo wasn,t so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.
When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today s... |
| #830 A Senior Citizen
I am a senior citizen...
- I,m the life of the party... even when it lasts ,till 8pm.
- I,m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
- I,m usually interested in going home before I... |
| #829 Pondering old age
How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
when I recall where my get up has been.
Old age is golden-so I,ve h... |
| #828 Old maid`s burglar
A story I,ll tell of a burglar bold
Who started to rob a house;
He opened the window, and then crept in
As quiet as a mouse.
He looked around for a place to hide,
,Till the folks were a... |
