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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Instruments

#3490 Violin Jokes 25 What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute? A prostitute knows more than two positions. Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm. ... #3489 Viola Jokes 4 What,s another name for viola auditions? Scratch lottery. ... #3488 Violin Jokes 24 What instrument do violists envy most? The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings. ... #3487 Violin Jokes 13 Why can,t a violist play with a knife in his back? Because he can,t lean back in his chair. ... #3486 Violin Jokes 12 Did you hear about the violist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes? The rest of the orchestra didn,t believe him, so he proved it by playing one. ... #3485 Violin Jokes 11 Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a violin case? They think he,s carrying a machine gun and might be about to use it. ... #3484 Violin Jokes 21 How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They,re not small enough to fit. ... #3483 Viola Jokes 7 Why shouldn,t you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it? You could fit in at least one more. ... #3482 Viola Jokes 6 If you,re lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination. ... #3481 Violin Jokes 20 Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra? All those positions! ... #3480 Viola Jokes 3 What is the definition of a cluster chord? A viola section playing on the C string. ... #3479 Viola Jokes 2 What,s the difference between a chain saw and a viola? If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet. ... #3478 Viola Jokes 14 What do a SCUD missile and a viola player have in common? They,re both offensive and inaccurate. ... #3477 Viola Jokes 13 What is the range of a Viola? As far as you can kick it. ... #3476 Viola Jokes 12 What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is happy when the case is closed. ... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5