 | #1752 Fun to do in elevators
# Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
# Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
# Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and mutte... |
| #1751 Fun at others expense
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on... |
| #1750 Signs your burned out
1. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
2. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don`t care.
3. You have so much on your mind, you`ve forget often how ... |
| #1749 Top Valuejet slogans
1. ValueJet: When you just can`t wait for the world to come to you.
2. ValueJet: We`re Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our frequent near-miss program.
4. On flights, every section is a smoking sec... |
| #1748 Good to be American
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2.You can spell color wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If yo... |
| #1747 Good to be an Italian
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history... well, until about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sun... |
| #1746 To do at the drivethru
1. Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.
3. Pretend like your win... |
| #1745 Good to be Canadian
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successful... |
| #1744 How cold is it outside?
60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian c... |
| #1743 Know because of TV
Things You Wouldn`t Know Without The Tube All Of Life`s Mysteries Are On TV
1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
... |
| #1742 Television from Iraq
1. Husseinfeld"
2. "Mad About Everything"
3."U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
4. "Suddenly Sanctions"
5. "Allah McBeal"
6. "Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
7. "Achmed`s Creek"
8. "Ira... |
| #1741 Signs that you`re broke
1 American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
2 Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.
3 You`re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
... |
| #1740 Most useless inventions
Non stick Cellotape
Solar Powered Flash Light
A black highlighter pen
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Inflatable Anchor
Smooth Sandpaper
Waterproof sponge
Waterproof Teabags
... |
| #1739 Gas price comparison
Gas Prices vs ?
People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0.30, $0.40 per ga... |
| #1738 Government problems
1. 29 Members of Congress have been accused of spousal abuse.
2. 7 Have been arrested for fraud.
3. 19 Have been accused of writing bad checks.
4. 117 Have bankrupted at least two businesses.... |
