 | #1767 Very bad private eye 1
Considers reading "The Hardy Boys Mysteries" actually helpful research.
He has a pet basset hound named "Flash" that acts as his trusty assistant.
His best disguise is wearing a hat.
Keep... |
| #1766 Internet crime heroes
Inspector Gadget
Chief Wiggum from the Simpsons
Captain America On Line
The Wonder Barbi Twins
The Silver Surfer
The XXX Men(they handle strictly cyber porn)
Up in the sky, we... |
| #1765 Bad to say at funerals
Geez, what died in here?
He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
Nice service...where`s the keg?
When did he die...really...hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
Hey, we`re ... |
| #1764 Santa must be drinking
While your child is on his lap, he tells them they`re not getting his Bud Light.
You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer.
Those darn milk and cookies never worked but... |
| #1763 Bad at an office party
1. Don`t go up to your boss and make the comparison of him with Santa because he`s fat, jolly and only works one day out of the year.
2. Don`t put your boss in a sleeper hold just to bargain for a ... |
| #1762 Well, how do I look?
The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question
1 "I ain`t seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
2 "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went tem... |
| #1761 Don`t say to a judge
"I got your community service right here pal!"
"Boy your chamber sure does look different with the lights on."
"You couldn`t carry Wapner`s gavel you moron!"
"You`re not as easy to buy as... |
| #1760 Asteroid hits the Earth
For starters, you`d be able to surf in South Dakota.
Wouldn`t have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.
The one dinosaur on the planet (here`s a clue..he`s purple) would be extinct.
... |
| #1759 Disney cruise delays
Pluto`s "accident" on Deck 3
Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.
Exterminator killed off "rat" problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie`s cousins.
Drunken disp... |
| #1758 The Hollywood hotel
"Scream" suite which becomes vacant quickly.
Hotel pool never gets used due to menacing music and one lone fin circling at all times.
Marv Albert has reservations for "The Crying Game" floor.... |
| #1757 Halloween handouts
Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
Teeth removing Taffy
Metamucil in a straw
Ex-Lax Brownies
Caramel Covered Zucchini
Colored Crisco on a Stick
Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
... |
| #1756 Scary fortune cookies
1. We know where you live.
2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
3. Everyone`s meal today is on you!
4. The "special sauce" came from the floor!
5. Guess what... |
| #1755 Recent cartoon rejects
1. "Billy, the Homicidal Smurf."
2. "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home."
3. "Archie, the Abcessed Tooth."
4. "Yosemite Sam...UNCENSORED!"
5. "The Golden Girls meet... |
| #1754 Broker market crash
1. "I`m sorry, sir..she`s not in...she`s out digging up your can as we speak."
2. There`s a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."
3.care to hold?"
4.Stock Exchange"
5. "He`s mee... |
| #1753 Good to be French
1. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog`s legs
2. If there`s a war you can surrender really early
3. You don`t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
4.... |
