 | #310 Microsoft Panhandler v1.0 (Beta)
Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandling.
"The idea came to ... |
| #309 A husband with a computer addiction
My Dear Husband,
I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going... |
| #308 The technical geek test
Are you a tehcnical geek?
Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may... |
| #307 A list of redneck computer terms
Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code - Them`s the fight`n rules down da local tavern.
Bug - The reason you is a giv`n for calling in sick.
Byte - What yer pit bu... |
| #306 There was life before the computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a ... |
| #304 I`m ignoring Y2K
Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was... |
| #303 The programmer`s cheer
Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!... |
| #302 Help stories from Tech Support
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to contro... |
| #301 The Windows Rejection Song
sung to the tune of The Rainbow Connection by Kermit Frog
Why are there so many, users of Windows?
Don`t people have any pride?
Windows is useless, and designed by morons,
and Windows had got DOS ... |
| #300 You have an Internet addiction when . . .
You kiss your girlfriend`s home page.
A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web s... |
| #299 Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They`ve found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspicio... |
| #298 Top ten signs you bought a bad computer
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
9. It`s celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend`s car.
7... |
| #297 If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is ... |
| #296 Computer lingo guide
Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove
Log off - Don`t add a log to your wood stove
Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove
Megahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning... |
| #295 Solution to the Y2K problem
The government`s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal... |
