 | #857 Computers are female
The top six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your sma... |
| #467 Some possible computer bumper stickers
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
7. Southern DOS: Y,all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
8. Backups? We don, *NEED* no steenking ba... |
| #354 Microsoft versus GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would ... |
| #353 AOL addiction poem
My computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! ... |
| #351 The power of shifting
Unleash the Power of Shift!
Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?
A: N... |
| #350 Definition of Windows
Windows95: n.
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can`t stand 1 bi... |
| #349 Gender and computers
Top nine reasons computers must be male:
1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you brin... |
| #348 Night before Christmas
A festive holiday poem by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose
`Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker`s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by t... |
| #347 Surfing the Internet
Surfin` the Net
So I think I`m in the clear
the boss is no where in sight
I logon to the web and start to surf
and then my hair stands up with fright
the footsteps coming down the hall
are qui... |
| #346 The computer prayer
Our Morning Prayer . . .
Our Hard Drive
Which art internal
Volume C by name;
Thy code be clean,
Thy fonts be seen
On screen as they are on paper.
Give us this day our documents,
... |
| #345 Internet highway blues
The Information Highway Blues
My baby`s got my 486.
My cellular phone`s on the blink.
My fax`s gone off to fax heaven,
And Pay For View stinks.
I got the blues, I got the Information Hi... |
| #344 Ethical software group
SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"
New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS) announced today that seven more software companies have been added to the... |
| #343 Internet addictions
Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)
As the incidence and prevalence of Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) has been increasing exponentially, a support group. The Internet Addiction Support Group (IASG... |
| #342 Bought a bad computer
Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer
1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
2. It`s celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
3. In order to start it you ne... |
| #341 Graphics work too much
You`ve been in graphics too long if...
by Chris Thornborrow
1. Most of your friends can pronounce Gouraud first time.
2. When you fist heard that some people used 16 million colours you won... |
