 | #3377 The reason for running
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he,s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can,t escape and finally pulls over.
The cop app... |
| #3376 Should have glasses
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don,t car... |
| #3375 Dealing with a juggler
Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let,s se... |
| #3374 Getting in an accident
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch... |
| #3373 Lost far from a home
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie,s house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn,t fi... |
| #3372 Prison Versus Housewives
In prison, you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.
In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and ming... |
| #3371 Catch a drunk driver
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it,s a police roadblock!! We,re gonna get buste... |
| #3370 Working in the garden
A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisioner, knowing that the prison guar... |
| #3369 Getting a new deputy
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
... |
| #3368 Catching the shoplifter
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don,t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the wat... |
| #3367 Wife helps out the cop
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What,s the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
... |
| #3366 New person in prison
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I... |
| #3365 Partner takes vacation
Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation
9. Every Tuesday he insists it,s his turn to be the siren.
8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he,d look good in a collar.
7. He wants ... |
| #3364 Dealing with criminals
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won,t believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I,ve never ... |
| #3363 Looking into their eyes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn,t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
... |
