 | #3393 Very stupid robbers
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we,re on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious... |
| #3392 Request before death
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
... |
| #3391 Warning all shoplifters
Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
... |
| #3390 Judge has some fun
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be... |
| #3389 Undercover detective
A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
... |
| #3388 How fast was I going?
When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
"You,re wrong, officer, it,s only my hat that makes me look that old."
... |
| #3387 Where is your wife?
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had go... |
| #3386 Prison vs. full-time job
Prison life versus a full-time job
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8, X 10, cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6, X 8, cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a... |
| #3385 Time for the wedding
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I,m going to let you cool your heels ... |
| #3384 Go give us a donation
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.
He said "It,s Al Gore. He,s up there threatening to set himself on ... |
| #3383 Breaking into a house
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You,ll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no no!" said th... |
| #3381 A prisoner with skills
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangeme... |
| #3380 He is extremely drunk
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Aye, so I hav... |
| #3379 Try to catch the rabbit
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit... |
| #3378 Rookie is on the job
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street... |
