 | #3423 Holmes investigation
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful fri... |
| #3422 New Miranda rights
1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.
2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.
3. You have the r... |
| #3421 I have lost my father
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I,ve lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What,s he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
... |
| #3420 Where are you from?
Theater Guest A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you,re only allowed one seat."
... |
| #3419 Some police quotes
The handcuffs are tight because they,re new. They,ll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you,ll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don,t know how fast you were going. I guess tha... |
| #3418 Government is there
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dia... |
| #3417 Stealing from a store
This is supposedly a true story, it happened in a small town of the province of Quebec, Canada, in October 1996. They showed the video surveillance tape on the news, and even the anchorman was laughin... |
| #3416 Testing a new recruit
Police Chief: As a recruit, you,ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
... |
| #3415 Criminal steals lumber
A man with a nagging secret couldn,t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.
"What did you ta... |
| #3414 Knitting and driving
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!"
"No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
... |
| #3413 Strange name for cats
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking... |
| #3412 Watching for suicide
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you,re planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death row prisoner ... |
| #3411 Stupid drunk blonde
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They,ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the poli... |
| #3410 Please show the I.D.
The following supposedly a true story.
This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber... |
| #3409 Some stupid truckers
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11,3."
They got out and measured their rig, which was 12,4."
"What do you thi... |
