Allow adult content






Bookmark and Share

Funny Jokes

Funny Photos

Funny Movies

Funny Games


Subscribe!
Get free jokes in your email.

Join our Facebook group!




Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Answer Machine

#1622 Answering machine message 259
These words are lovely dark and deep But I,ve got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep So leave a message at the beep. ...
#1621 Answering machine message 258
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. ...
#1620 Answering machine message 257
I am not home to talk to you, But please don,t be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the... ...
#1619 Answering machine message 256
(For Shakespeare lovers only:) So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I,ll get back to thee. ...
#1618 Answering machine message 255
Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can,t answer the phone right now because I,ve just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I,m still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now...
#1617 Answering machine message 254
Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can,t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I,ll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all...
#1616 Answering machine message 253
You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at...
#1615 Answering machine message 252
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future. ...
#1614 Answering machine message 251
Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can,t come to the phone right now. He,s either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number...
#1613 Answering machine message 250
(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm! ...
#1612 Answering machine message 249
Hello, you,ve reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities insid...
#1611 Answering machine message 248
(Chekov,s voice:) Oh Keptin! It was Khan! He made us do things... Say things we did not vant to say... But we vere strong, Keptin! Ve held out until ve heard the beep... ...
#1610 Answering machine message 247
Borg communications router. Unit addressed unavailable. Hails are irrelevant. Messages are irrelevant. You are irrelevant. Nonetheless, leave message if you wish. Wait for indicative, high frequency, ...
#1609 Answering machine message 246
(Borg voice:) WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOUR PHONE CALL, AS IT HAS BEEN, IS NOW OVER. YOUR MESSAGE WILL BE ASSIMILATED AT THE BEEP. But we,re not home right now. So leave a message and we,ll ...
#1608 Answering machine message 245
(Bad imitations:) Picard: Assume standard orbit, Mr. LaForge. Sensor readings, Lieutenant? Worf: Scanning, Captain... Strange... No life-forms. Picard: Recommendations, Mr. Data? Data: Int...


| | | 4 | | | | | | | | | | | | | |


Other Links - Links Gizmo | Lot123 Auctions | Eziaccounts Accounting

Home | Categories | Add joke or photo | Top 10 jokes | Top 10 photos | New jokes | New photos | Search | Contact us | Advertise | Store |



Friendly Reminders Close




Keep us laughing too...

share a laugh with your friends

Close