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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Answer Machine

#2764 Answering machine message 136
I`m unable to take your call in person because I`m having an out-of-the-body experience. In fact I`m standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say. But leave me a message anyway to help ...
#2763 Answering machine message 135
Hi, you`ve reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can`t come to the phone right now because they`ve been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android duplicates. You could leave your name and number a...
#2762 Answering machine message 125
Sorry... I`m far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody will call you I guess... (BANG!)...
#2761 Answering machine message 84
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test....
#2760 Answering machine message 30
Due to the large number of complaints regarding the length of our previous answering machine message, we made a few changes. Very fast: Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wai...
#2759 Answering machine message 22
Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal. Voice 2: I`m sorry, Dave, I can`t do that....
#2758 Answering machine message 18
Machine voice: Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like t...
#2757 Answering machine message 02
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can`t understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW!...
#2756 Answering machine message 34
If you are calling for John, press 1. If you are calling for Steve, press 1. If you are calling for John OR Steve, press 1. If you are calling for someone else, press 1. If......
#2755 Answering machine message 32
Hi, you`ve reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service...
#2754 Answering machine message 35
After a power outage: Hi, this is Ralph. The good news is that my power is back on. The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine. So, leave a message....
#2753 Answering machine message 33
Sorry, Chris and Susan aren`t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone....
#2752 Answering machine message 09
Don`t you do it! Don`t you dare! I don`t want to hear it! Don`t you beep! If you beep, I`ll... don`t even think about it!... Don`t...!...
#2751 Answering machine message 07
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1......
#1623 Answering machine message 260
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape. ...


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