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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Answer Machine

#1412 Answering machine message 18
Machine voice: Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like t...
#1411 Answering machine message 17
I,m sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can,t take messages either. In fact, it can,t even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave...
#1410 Answering machine message 16
Hello, this is Ron,s toaster. Ron,s new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!) ...
#1409 Answering machine message 15
Hi! John,s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I,ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. ...
#1408 Answering machine message 14
Hello. This is Mark and Nathan,s phone. We,re not here right now, but the phone is. ...
#1407 Answering machine message 13
Hi. This is John,s answering machine. He,s not here, but I,m open to suggestions. ...
#1406 Answering machine message 12
Hello. I,m David,s answering machine. What are you? ...
#1405 Answering machine message 11
Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong... Gowrong... Grong.. Grong gronggronggrong...
#1257 Answering machine message 10
No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE...
#1253 Answering machine message 09
Don,t you do it! Don,t you dare! I don,t want to hear it! Don,t you beep! If you beep, I,ll... don,t even think about it!... Don,t...! ...
#1252 Answering machine message 08
C,mon... you can do it... just a little one. That,s the way... just a little beep, just a little one. C,mon... good boy... here we go... like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c,mon.....
#1245 Answering machine message 03
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren,t in, leave a message." That,s why I,ve decided to keep m...
#1242 Answer Machine 01
Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it,s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what thi...


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