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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Answer Machine

#1442 Answering machine message 56
Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I,m not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore. ...
#1441 Answering machine message 55
English accent: Hello, you,ve reached the phone of Monty Python. I can,t come to the phone right now because the witch has turned me into a newt! I,ll call you back when I get better. ...
#1440 Answering machine message 54
Imitating Mr. Rogers: Hello. I,m in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can,t come to the phone. Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone? Sure... I knew you...
#1439 Answering machine message 53
This is Walter Cronkite. Bren,s not here right now. He,s out on a date. The idea of Bren entertaining a girl with his basketball theories and computer knowledge over dinner at Taco Bell should scare t...
#1438 Answering machine message 52
"I,m Morley Safer." "I,m Harry Reasoner." "And I,m Fred." "We,re not home; leave a message." ...
#1437 Answering machine message 51
Annoying flute music in background: Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at ...
#1436 Answering machine message 50
Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance. ...
#1435 Answering machine message 49
In Joe Friday voice: This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney...
#1434 Answering machine message 48
To the Batmobile! Let,s go! Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I,m off making Montreal a safer pla...
#1433 Answering machine message 47
Clint Eastwood voice: Go ahead, make my day. Leave a message. ...
#1432 Answering machine message 46
Theme music from James Bond: Hello. My name is David, code number 324-5628. I,m sorry I can,t take your call, but I,m on an international mission involving the theft of gold plated Spam. Leave a messa...
#1431 Answering machine message 45
You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey. TNR Surveillance will scramble. If you do not respond, ...
#1430 Answering machine message 44
You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, a...
#1429 Answering machine message 43
Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES. ...
#1428 Answering machine message 42
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. ...


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