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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Answer Machine

#1547 Answering machine message 169 Thank you for calling the Peoria Weather Line. (Insert appropriate weather report for the season here.) ... #1546 Answering machine message 168 The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it. ... #1545 Answering machine message 167 When the caller calls your number, as Steven Wright suggested, simply have your message be a busy signal! ... #1544 Answering machine message 166 (Recorded directly from AT&T:) We,re sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. ... #1543 Answering machine message 165 Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone... ... #1542 Answering machine message 164 My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I,ll get back to you pending credit approval. ... #1541 Answering machine message 163 After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I,ll get back to you as soon as it,s safe for you to come out of hiding. ... #1540 Answering machine message 162 Shhh! Don,t talk, just listen! Meet me at the corner of Broad and Main and bring the girl. (CLICK) ... #1539 Answering machine message 161 Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. ... #1538 Answering machine message 160 You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YO... #1537 Answering machine message 158 Leave a message or I,ll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that. ... #1536 Answering machine message 157 (Italian Mafia-style voice:) I can,t come to the phone right now. Me and Guido are trying to stuff a body in the trunk. I think we,re going to have to size it a little... (Aside:) HEY GUIDO! GET THE C... #1535 Answering machine message 156 Hi, I,m not home because I,ve gone on a BLOODY RAMPAGE! When I get home, and CLEAN OFF THE BLOOD, I,ll be sure to give you a call. If I haven,t ALREADY COME OVER, that is. (Coughing loony laughter.) ... #1534 Answering machine message 155 Hello! I,m on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? ... #1533 Answering machine message 153 Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I,m home right now, and in a moment, I,ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I,ll be thinking about it... ... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18