 | #1082 Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree
8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide
7. Salesman,s opening line: "You,re not a cop, are you?"
6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers
5. While you sleep, it ge... |
| #1081 Santa vs. system admins
The similarities between Santa and System Admins
1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal... |
| #1079 Santa Hates Your Kid
8. Kid,s letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
... |
| #1078 Short Father Christmas
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!
What do the reindeer sing to Fa... |
| #1077 Knock Knock Christmas
Knock Knock
Who,s there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?
Knock Knock
Who,s there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !
Knock Knock
Who,s there ?
... |
| #1076 Short Christmas Jokes
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It,s Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you ... |
| #1075 Short Snow Jokes
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What,s an ig?
An eskimo,s home without a loo!
What... |
| #1074 Short Reindeer Jokes
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?
This one will sleigh you !
Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?
Because they are both tail bearers !
Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Because t... |
| #1072 Twelve days Microsoft
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 3rd day of Christmas, m... |
| #1071 Twelve Days of Fast Food
On the first day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.
On the second day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bac... |
| #1070 Your father is drunk
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Oh you better not shout, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I,m tellin, you why,
Daddy,s home and I think he,s drunk.
He,s walkin, real... |
| #1068 An Internet Christmas
T,was the Internet Night Before Christmas
,Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker,s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem wi... |
| #1067 Addicted to the Web
(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Doorbell rings, I,m not list,nin,,
From my mouth, drool is glist,nin,,
I,m happy -- although
My boss let me go --
Happily addicted to the Web.
All nig... |
| #1066 Revised Christmas days
Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:
1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never ... |
| #1065 The twelve days after Christmas
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My ... |
|
