 | #920 Organ jokes
Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?
A: They are always longing for another stop.
Q: Why are a organist,s fingers like lightning?
A: Because they rarely strike the same place twic... |
| #918 Oboe jokes
Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
... |
| #915 Harpsichord jokes
The late Sir Thomas Beecham used to say the sound of the harpsichord is like "two skeletons making love on a tin roof".
... |
| #913 Harp jokes
A harp is a nude piano.
A Celtic harpist spends half her time tuning her harp, and the other half playing it out of tune.
Q: Why are harps like elderly parents?
A: Both are unforgiving and hard... |
| #911 Harmonica jokes
Steve Wright: I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I,ve been arrested three times for practicing.
... |
| #907 Guitar jokes
Q: How do you make him stop playing?
A: Put notes on it!
Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!
Q: What,s the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead... |
| #903 French horn jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?
A: A goal post that can,t march.
Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he,... |
| #902 Flute jokes
Q: What,s the definition of a minor second?
A: Two flutes playing a unison.
Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.
Q: Why do loud, ... |
| #900 English horn jokes
Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?
A: One is far more painful to your ears.
Q: What,s the name of a good English horn player?
A: I,ll tell you when... |
| #898 What is your IQ?
Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he,ll ask his guests what their I.Q. is--hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there.
The day o... |
| #895 Which drummer?
There,s a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?
The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drumme... |
| #893 Drum jokes
Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don,t disgrace themselves at the parade.
Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door?
A: The knocking gets ... |
| #892 Clarinet jokes
Q: What,s the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.
Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicap zones.
Q: Wh... |
| #890 Cello jokes
Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you don,t have to retrain the c... |
| #888 Bassoon jokes
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the bassoon recital.
Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
A: The bassoon burns longer.
Q: What is a burning oboe good for?
A:... |
