 | #5840 the strangest dream last night
I had the strangest dream last night," a young Jewish man was telling his Jewish psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. And you can... |
| #5839 that I died and went to heaven
I once dreamt that I died and went to heaven, where I met Saint Peter at the gates.
When I went in I asked him if he would show me around the place.
We were walking around, when we saw President... |
| #5838 The lord called for Lazarus
And the lord called for Lazarus to come forth,
but Lazarus came fifth,
and lost the job.
... |
| #5837 Man was driving down the highway
A man was driving down the highway, and sees a sign saying "Sisters of Mercy, House of Prostitution, 10 miles"
Thinking it is some sort of joke, he pays no attention, until he sees a similar sign r... |
| #5836 The first Jewish President of the United States
The first Jewish President of the United States calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down for Chanukah.
She says, "I,d like to, but it,s so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a ca... |
| #5835 Hearing confessions
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of th... |
| #5834 Saunders was lying on his death
Col. Saunders was lying on his death bed and asked to have the Pope visit him. It was explained that the pope is a very busy man and that he did not make such visits. Col Saunders said if he could hav... |
| #5833 Love standing up
Why don,t mormon,s make love standing up?
They worry that it could lead to dancing.
... |
| #5832 Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals
The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, "I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible ne... |
| #5831 How Old Was Isaac?
Bible scholars have long wondered how old Isaac was when his father Abraham took him up to the mountain top to offer him as a sacrifice. Through careful study of the story as related in the Old Testam... |
| #5830 possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, my brother Frank,s Church is going to have a special No Excuse Sunday.
Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say tha... |
| #5828 A rightous woman dies and goes to heaven
A rightous woman dies and goes to heaven. God personally greets her and says "Welcome to Heaven. If there,s anything I can do for you, just let me know."
"Thank you," said the women, "There is some... |
| #5827 A Brief Guide To Religious Philosophies
A Brief Guide To Religious Philosophies
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Protestantism: Shit won,t happen if I work harder.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Bud... |
| #5826 The young nun was teaching social studies
The young nun was teaching social studies to a class of young girls. As their weekend homework, she told the girls to do a good deed and report back on Monday.
On Monday morning, the first girl rep... |
| #5825 staff meeting in Heaven
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of President Clinton and Rep. Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They w... |
