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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Quotes

#4933 the basic building blocks of the Universe
Stupidity, like hydrogen, is one of the basic building blocks of the Universe." - Frank Zappa, during an explanation of why the New York Times newspaper refused to carry advertising for his new m...
#4930 Joseph Wood Krutch
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." ...
#4927 Isaac Asimov
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That,s funny..." ...
#4926 Sir Arthur Eddington
Every body continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, except insofar as it doesn,t." ...
#4924 John Peers
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant...
#4923 Winston Churchill
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. ...
#4922 Woodrow Wilson
Never murder a man when he,s busy committing suicide...
#4921 Rita Rudner
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There,s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it,s always gonna be me!" ...
#4920 Herman Melville
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me...
#4919 Aristotle
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ...
#4917 Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where,s the car?" She said, "In the lake." ...
#4913 Albert Schweitzer
The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. ...
#4912 Brian Auten
They say potato chips can be fattening. But then again, so is eating fat, and you don,t see me eating fat. So get off my back about the potato chips, man...
#4911 Public media should not contain explicit
Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it has some...
#4910 Mary Tyler Moore
Now I understand why the post office puts up wanted posters for robbers. It just goes to prove the old saying that it takes one to know one...


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