 | #4616 Dr. Stranton arrived at the Pearly Gates
Dr. Stranton died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. While trying to get through, he was stopped by St. Peter. "Now hold on," said the M.D. "I,ll have you know I was the biggest specialist in Chicago. Y... |
| #4615 the other lawyers names
How to be a good lawyer:
1) When the law is against you, argue the facts.
2) When the facts are against you, argue the law.
3) When both are against you, call the other lawyers names
... |
| #4614 There is absolutely nothing to worry about
Overheard on a 747: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. I repeat there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Thank you"
... |
| #4612 Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, I have some good news and some bad news. First the bad news, we,re hopelessly lost. Now the good news, we,re ahead of schedule.
... |
| #4611 the doctor "I have this ringing in my ears
I said to the doctor "I have this ringing in my ears."
He said, "Don,t answer it!"
... |
| #4609 A doctor fell into a well once
A doctor fell into a well once.
He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone.
... |
| #4608 the man, "I never tried to light it."
So the man goes to the doctor and says "I have a rash on my penis."
"Does it burn?" asks the doctor.
"I don,t know," says the man, "I never tried to light it."
... |
| #4607 A Cameraman and a Diesel generator
What`s the difference between a cameraman and a diesel generator?
The diesel generator stops whining at the end of the program... |
| #4606 Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures
Question: What is 1 + 2 ?
Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures, you,ll find that it,s reasonably in line with government predictions.
Physicist: I won,t tell you unti... |
| #4605 That is very kind of you
The patient shook his doctor,s hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned ... |
| #4604 The professor assures him that this is correct
An economist is back in his old college town many years after graduation and decides to drop in on one of his old professors. He happens to see a copy of an exam sitting on the desk so he picks it up ... |
| #4603 the state for a short period of time
A lawyer who works in Texas receives news of an out of town emergency which requires him to fly out of the state for a short period of time. He doesn,t even have time to pack, so he calls home to tell... |
| #4601 The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the do... |
| #4598 A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man,s pulse?"
The coroner says, "No."
The attorney then asks, ... |
| #4597 lawyer and a pig
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
Nothing, there,s some things even a pig won,t do! ... |
