 | #3020 Who can say this sentence?
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."... |
| #2188 Doctor goes to a bar
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One ... |
| #100 The number twelve goes to a bar
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can,t serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You... |
| #99 Some very common traits in two drunks
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I,m from Ireland," rep... |
| #98 Some yogurt visits a local bar
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don,t serve your kind in here."
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We,re... |
| #97 This tells me that I must be drunk
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender ... |
| #96 I only ordered a double
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
... |
| #95 I bet I can bite both of my eyes
A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I,ll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye... |
| #94 My girlfriend is out in the car
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looke... |
| #93 I know you were drunk yesterday
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot... |
| #92 Bad luck finding a place to hide
A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I,m so mad, I can,t even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit ... |
| #91 I think I`ll try a nicer approach
Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night.
He always had trouble getting his key into... |
| #90 Someone stole things from me
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They,ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out.
However, b... |
| #89 Who keeps saying those things?
A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You,ve got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn,t see where the voice was c... |
| #88 Top ten signs that you are too drunk
10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Your i... |
