 | #610 What is his occupation?
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She,s a doctor."
... |
| #609 How`s business?
Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night.
"How?s business?" asked the first.
"Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up t... |
| #608 Are you talking to me?
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn,t it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The wit... |
| #607 Lawyers on a flight
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot aske... |
| #606 Can I take his place?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?... |
| #605 Free haircuts
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God?s work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door ... |
| #604 Did you make a donation?
At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn,t made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volun... |
| #603 An honest lawyer
An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young law... |
| #602 I just managed to settle an account!
A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night.
"Dad, listen," he shouted, "I?ve finally settled that old McKinney suit."
"Settled it!" cried his astonish... |
| #601 A love for material goods
A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his c... |
| #600 Lawyer`s personal injury
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I,m an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this... |
| #599 Brain transplant
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.
"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been onl... |
| #598 Get money to heaven
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can?t take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-ch... |
| #597 Some last minute requests
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.
The ... |
| #596 You`ve changed my mind
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I`m beginning to think I didn`t."
... |
