 | #3130 Q and A lawyer jokes 05
Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they,re really nice guys.
Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one h... |
| #3129 Q and A lawyer jokes 04
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in wet cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?
A: Yeah, it comes with... |
| #3128 Q and A lawyer jokes 03
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.
Q: What,s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
... |
| #3127 Q and A lawyer jokes 02
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: No? G... |
| #3125 Who owns the cows?
After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering his future. He went to his father and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner from which he could observe his fat... |
| #3124 Were you ever arrested?
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arrested?"
He answered no to the question.
The next question, intended for those who answered the pre... |
| #3123 When you know you must really be drunk
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.
A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed fo... |
| #3122 What is the oldest profession?
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib fro... |
| #3121 Want to go into space?
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A milli... |
| #3120 Replacing lab rats with lawyers
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and fi... |
| #3119 Unreasonable bill
A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:
"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner t... |
| #2187 Visiting the lawyer
A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park.
While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one femal... |
| #804 Need a new lawyer
Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer
1. Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser.
2. When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
... |
| #803 Knowing the facts
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking gr... |
| #802 Advice from lawyers
George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny,s mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how c... |
