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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus


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#3217 : Chem one-liners 03

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn`t put it down?

What`s the formula for water? -H-two-O What`s the formula for an ice cube? -H-two-O-CUBED

Q: What do you get when you combine Al Gore with O2?
A: Oxymoron

The best chemists would definitely not be pet owners.

Their idea of a catalyst:

2 bags of cat litter
3 cans of cat food
1 can of flea powder
1 collar

Q: How do you get lean molecules?
A:Feed them titrations.

Q: And why does a white bear melt in water?
A: Because it`s polar.

Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory?
His business went insolvent.

Q: What`s the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon.




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