 | #7422 Successful
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.... |
| #3382 A test for being drunk
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to the guy,s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "... |
| #3158 Where you reside
This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and...
"Where doe... |
| #3157 Woman is on a bus
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That,s the ugliest baby I,ve ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear o... |
| #3156 We have new babies
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the un... |
| #1657 Things Mom Taught Me...
My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can,t go to the store with me."
My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don,t stop crossing your eyes, they,re going... |
| #1656 You Know You`ve Turned Into a Mom When...
You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back an... |
| #1655 Child sent to bed
A small boy is sent to bed by his father...
[Five minutes later]
"Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I,m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
[Fiv... |
| #1654 Term dictionary
Parent,s Dictionary of Meanings
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn,t appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL N... |
| #1653 Parents evolution
My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children:
Feeling the Baby Move
... |
| #1652 Newest son-in-law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I,m making you a ... |
| #1651 Evolution of Mom
The Evolution of Mom
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:
Your... |
| #1650 You want children?
Are You Ready for Children?
Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick ... |
| #1649 Mom`s new recipe
Mom,s Brownies Recipe
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups su... |
| #1648 New family driver
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately head... |
