 | #2785 Scary organization
The most dangerous organization in America today is:
a) The KKK
b) The American Nazi Party
c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
... |
| #2784 Airlines running operating systems
Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.
DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids... |
| #2774 Top Things You Dont Want to hear Over an Airlplane
1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.
2. Hey folks, we`re going to play... |
| #1265 International airline
Acronyms for International Airlines
Italy
ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival
ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia
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| #1264 Airplane maintenance
"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintena... |
| #1263 Teaching the child
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to t... |
| #1262 Training the blonde
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best pl... |
| #1261 A no-frills airline
You,ll Know It,s a No-Frills Airline If:
They don,t sell tickets, they sell chances.
All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get toget... |
| #1260 A Skydiving lesson
All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy a... |
| #1259 Blonde goes flying
A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He t... |
| #1258 Dream flying planes
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years.
Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides.
... |
| #1256 Story of my friend
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747.
I said "Hi Jack."
He shot me.
... |
| #1255 Scary organization
The most dangerous organization in America today is:
a) The KKK
b) The American Nazi Party
c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
... |
| #1254 An emergency landing
According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration st... |
| #1251 Real flight announcements
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or report... |
