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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Military

#7454 An Army Officer
An army soldier walks into his officer,s room. To impress him, the army officer picks the phone, dials a number and said "Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the Prime Minister. Goodbye." Loo...
#3675 Curfew
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast, and everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm. "Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superio...
#2907 Tribute to the Marines
A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best h...
#2906 New officer efficiency
These are actual phrases from Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisal for the military officers). "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard ...
#2905 Valid identification
DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check ...
#2904 New submarine Ensign
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he,d dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief ...
#2903 Strange new battles
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn,t have a rifle. "That,s no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Ge...
#2901 Bragging about old times
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very...
#1010 Choose a punishment
Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month,s restriction or twenty day,s pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the ...
#1009 Painting shows it all
At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture ,Soldiers a...
#1008 New chemical warfare
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That,s easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?...
#1007 Flying near Athens
As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What,s that stuff on those hills?" "Just snow," replied the stewardess. "That,s what I thought," said the ...
#1006 Military Christmas
,Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. ...
#1005 How far to the town?
A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher ...
#1004 The physical training instructor
These are actual phrases from Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisal for the military officers). "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard ...


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