 | #5361 A woman goes into the local newspaper
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, s... |
| #5358 A guy on the beach
A guy on the beach just can,t seem to make it with any of the girls, so he goes over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him...
"It,s obvious, dude" says the lifeguar... |
| #5357 A man walks into a supermarket
A man walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The girl at the ... |
| #5355 A guy met this girl in a bar and asked
A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?" "Okay. But it won,t do you any good."
A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?" "Okay. But it won,t do you any good."
... |
| #5354 An elderly woman decided
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the the artist....... "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."
"But ... |
| #5352 The Marine was on his first assignment
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a ... |
| #5351 A fellow picks a woman up in a bar
A fellow picks a woman up in a bar and takes her home.
When he takes off his shoes and socks, it is apparent that his toes have had something dreadful happen to them.. "Eeek!" says she. "Oh, I used... |
| #5350 A woman wanted to surprise her husband
A woman wanted to surprise her husband so she bought a pair of crotchless panties.
When her husband got home from work, he found his wife spread eagle on the floor with the panties on. "You want s... |
| #5349 really your third marriage
Is this really your third marriage?
Sure is.
What happened to your first two wives?
They died.
How did your first wife die?
She ate some poisonous mushrooms.
What about your second... |
| #5348 a guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman
So, a guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There,s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he,s doing alright--but after a few months he gets "lo... |
| #5347 I recently attended a meeting
I recently attended a meeting of the International Singles Club here in Silicon Valley. I met a Chinese woman who was a dentist. She had perfect teeth, which started me thinking: All dentists from all... |
| #5346 Hit Her
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He,d waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are... |
| #5345 Applying for job in the CIA
Three guys are applying for job with the CIA. They got all the way to the final test.
So the first guy walks into the director,s office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls ou... |
| #5343 Gallagher just had a heart transplant
Gallagher just had a heart transplant and was getting instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco and alcohol, and advised to get at least eight hours, sleep a night.
... |
| #5342 It seems that Abe and Morey
It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm.
The further they w... |
