 | #5561 woman decided to have her portrait painted
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the the artist....... "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."
"But ... |
| #5560 Angus Broon of Glasgow
Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that,s come off of me fly? I canny button me pants."
"Oh Angus...I,ve got me hands i... |
| #5559 stranded on a desert island
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He played it cool, and he didn,t make any moves towards her for several weeks. Finally, one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a p... |
| #5558 girlhad just moved to the city
A country girlhad just moved to the city and was invited to a dance, but she couldn,t dance, so she asked a friend what she was going to do if someone asked her to dance. Her friend told her to tell t... |
| #5556 What kind of person is your new
Mother to Daughter: What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?
"Of course he is, Mom. He,s thrifty, doesn,t drink or smoke. In fact, he has a very nice wife and three well-behave... |
| #5555 grandpa had decided to marry
At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa,s doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the sli... |
| #5554 Thirteenth Floor
The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door.
The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm.
"Heavens," she cried, "it`s... |
| #5553 Wife had a heart attack
A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the apartment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having a heart att... |
| #5552 One Last Time
Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gathered around him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room.
Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, "That`s it, one last tim... |
| #5551 the wedding night for a young couple
It was the wedding night for a young couple and the groom wanted everything to be just perfect. He arranged to stay in the Honeymoon Suite of a plush hotel, and he and his new bride eagerly jumped int... |
| #5550 Women Drivers are a hazard to traffic
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over to my left and there,s this woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her ... |
| #5549 stranded on an island with only a Doberman
So, a guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There,s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he,s doing alright--but after a few months he gets "lo... |
| #5548 A young couple at a carousel
A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?"
She agrees and he begins to speed ... |
| #5547 goodbyes to the parishioners
Father O,Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What,s bothering you so, dear?" inquired Fa... |
| #5546 Exhibitionist who was taking a trip
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and e... |
