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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Science

#3582 Science watch
Science Watch: Government and auto industry officials are debating which crash dummies best imitate humans in accidents. Says Paul Ryan, "They can,t decide whether it,s the ones who play with the ...
#3278 Ideas About Science
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain`s contention that the `most int...
#3277 Cartoon Laws of Physics
Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing...
#3276 Actual Science Tests Report...
These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pu...
#3275 Science One-liners
Mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.023 E23 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you`re not part of the solution, you`re part of the precipitate -...
#3274 Administratrium, A New Element!
Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, ha...
#3273 Reasons for the Mir Accident
After intensive investigation on both the Soviet and US parts, spokespersons from both space agencies have determined the cause for the accident which has placed the station and its resident personnel...
#3272 The astronomy jokes
NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn`t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover`s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text "press any key to continue". I...
#3271 Blondes to the moon
At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak up "That`s been done before, we`re going to go to Mars". The Blondes speak up "That`s nothing...
#3270 Biologist experiment
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!". The frog jumps 2 feet. He w...
#3269 The biology song 07
Away in a Test Tube (Melody: "Away in a Manger") Away in a test tube My plague cultures grow On nutrient agar Mankind`s greatest foe It`s easy to grow them If one does it right At thirty-f...
#3268 The biology song 06
O Humid Night (Melody: "O Holy Night") O Humid Night Anopheline mosquitoes Are circling you in the hope of a meal. She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts Drool parasites which you can`t ...
#3267 The biology song 05
Hark! The Streptococcus Brings (Melody: "Hark! The Herald = Angels Sing") Hark! the Streptococcus brings Strep sore throat to all who sing, Chloraseptic doesn`t cure it Other people`s sneezing ...
#3266 The biology song 04
A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultur...
#3265 The biology song 03
ODE TO A CLONE By John Scalzi (This originally appeared in America Online`s "Howdy" area on March 6th.) Oh clone, my clone, how can you bear it To exist knowing you have only one parent? No z...


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