 | #2978 Sweep the Floor
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.
But I,m a college student the young man replied.
In that case give me the broom - I,ll show you how.
... |
| #2977 Discussing Grades
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.
"What,s the matter, son," asked his mother.
"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It,s my marks. They,re all wet."
"What do you mean ... |
| #2976 College Prayers
O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of ,dx, or ,dy,
And probably won,t until the day I die.
Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case to the highes... |
| #2975 Public Speaking
Recently our speaker had to discontinue several of his long talks on account of his throat. Several people threatened to cut it.
You have heard it said before that this speaker needs no introductio... |
| #2974 Geography Class
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, cou... |
| #2973 College Writing
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
"It,s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.
"Actually," said hi... |
| #2972 Math Problems
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bar... |
| #2971 Philosophy Exam
(True story)
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.
After a short t... |
| #2970 Newest Discovery
By R. J. Heathorn (* PUNCH, May 9, 1962)
A new aid to rapid--almost magical--learning has made its appearance. Indications are that if it catches on all the electronic gadgets will be so much junk.... |
| #2969 Great School Humor
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
--Groucho Marx
1890-1977
This reminds me of the student who began his Middl... |
| #2968 Do you know who I am?
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the clas... |
| #2967 History research paper
Man: "How,s your history paper coming?"
Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it,s been very helpful.
Man: "Really?"
Woman: "Yes! I,ve already... |
| #2966 I will do anything to pass
A student comes to a young professor,s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her ... |
| #2965 The prayer said before finals
Now I Lay Me
Down to Study,
I Pray the Lord I
Won,t Go Nutty.
If I Should Fail to
Learn this Junk,
I Pray the Lord
I Will Not Flunk.
But If I Do,
Don,t Pity Me at All,
Just Lay My Bones
... |
| #2964 Two students miss a final exam
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going int... |
