 | #397 Repairing the phone
A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.
Repeated requests for repair brought only prom... |
| #395 The ten ifs of employment
1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If it,s a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If it,s the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take no... |
| #394 A tight travel budget
All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.
Memorandum
To: All Employees
From: Headquarters
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 16, 2000
... |
| #393 The requirements of this job
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I,m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
... |
| #392 Everybody, somebody, anybody, and nobody
This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. ... |
| #391 Who is doing the work around here?
The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work.
People under 21 total 59 million which... |
| #390 Those who don`t know
The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don,t know. Those who know are no problem.
Those who don,t know are also in two groups.
One is those who don,t know ... |
| #389 Japanese management lecture
Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secre... |
| #388 Why did he fire you
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"
Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the wo... |
| #387 Keeping a high profile in an office
Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you,re ready.
Don,t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that mo... |
| #386 Reasons to stay at work all night
1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
2. Find a way to change everyone,s password to "chrysanthemum".
3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildi... |
| #385 Reasons to leave work
1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances.
2. Came dressed in only a towel...again.
3. Ran out of paper clips.
4. I,ve decided to telecommute.
5. Ambassador to Belgi... |
| #384 The Procrastinator`s creed
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a... |
| #383 The copy machine handout
In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this she... |
| #382 Looks bad on resume cover letters
1. I,m really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.
2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.
3. I,ll kill myself if... |
