| #1003 Physical training job The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers.
"I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle," he explained. "... |
| #1002 Convince these students An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of... |
| #1001 Speak more precisely Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. "My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier.
"I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.
"You co... |
| #1000 Fishing on the lake A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water.
The admiral floun... |
| #999 High military ranks When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.
"That,s the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends said.
So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice... |
| #998 Discuss track types Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first Marine said "those are deer tracks."
The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks."
The third ... |
| #997 An inferiority complex Private Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: "I have an inferiority complex."
"Nothing I can do for you", said the doc.
"In the Army privates don,t have an inferiority complex... they,re ... |
| #996 Army fitness report British Military Officer Fitness Reports
The British Military writes OFR,s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual ... |
| #995 Impressing the others A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan.
He,d been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man c... |
| #994 Let`s see the world Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole.
"What made you join the Army?" asked one.
"Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I been doin, it - a shovelful at... |
| #993 Soldiers in Heaven Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don,t soldiers ever go to heaven?"
"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"
"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never sa... |
| #991 Become more effective The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A sergeant reported thoughtfully: "Sir, I just discovered something that does the work of fifty men."
"Wh... |
| #990 Bring some more ammo The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson,s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: "Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself."
"By... |
| #988 Brag about parents An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the... |
| #987 Murphy`s Combat Laws Murphy,s Laws Of Combat Operations
Friendly fire - isn,t.
Recoilless rifles - aren,t.
Suppressive fires - won,t.
You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
A sucking chest ... |