 | #18 A game of animal football
The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I`ve seen it on T.V."
He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the anim... |
| #16 He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in... |
| #15 There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."... |
| #13 You could feed them a lot faster
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tr... |
| #12 I`ll use my seeing eye dog
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his... |
| #11 Never talk to the parrot
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn`t accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I`ll leave the key... |
| #10 The story of the bats
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let`s fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We`re new here," says the second one. "It`s dark out, and we don`t... |
| #9 Steven Wright on dogs
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I`m afraid of widths.
I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he`s... |
| #8 Three very tough mice
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I`m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I`m so tough... |
| #7 A very insulting parrot
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she he... |
| #6 A snail buys a fast new car
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Dats... |
| #5 Purchasing a new bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter... |
| #4 Who am I
Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?
A. "Rough rough".
Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!
... |
| #3 Two Little Pibs
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where`s the bathroom?"
The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
Two more piggies walk into a bar.
They soon get drunk and they ask, "Wher... |
| #1 Mad Cow
There were two cows standing in the field,
one cow says to the other: "boy that mad cow disease has got me worried"
the other cow says I`m not worried, I`m a penguin"
... |
